


It is a lovely day in Brockton Bay, and you have a horrible goose projection.

by MKwitch



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Alt-Power Taylor Hebert, Bullying, Gen, Goose Antics, the goose is her projection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-04 00:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21188552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MKwitch/pseuds/MKwitch
Summary: Taylor triggered with a different Master ability. She has exactly one projection, that she can barely contol. Feeling down-in-the-dumps, Taylor decides to have a picnic with her goose. But what will happen when one of her bullies spots her at the park?No longer a one-shot, due to popular demand. And by popular demand, I mean one person requested it and I somehow got inspired to write more.





	1. Spook the Bully

‘Well, this might be the lamest power ever...’ thought Taylor as she watched her goose projection run around in a circle and loudly honk at passersby. So far, the goose had been nothing but trouble. It stole everything that wasn’t nailed down, it chased after anyone who came near Taylor, and it had already gotten her in hot water with the police for disturbing the peace. 

It really was a horrible goose. The only upside was that if Taylor concentrated hard enough, she could set goals for the goose. Unfortunately, how it went about completing said goals was all up the goose. For example, just a few hours ago, Taylor told the goose to have a nice picnic. Instead of taking the already made picnic basket that Taylor had out so much effort into, the goose went and stole bits of other people’s picnics to use in theirs. 

Taylor had had to apologise to nearly everyone at the park. And give them back any foods that the goose hadn’t already spoiled. At this point, Taylor was forming a plan to create a bunch of ‘I’m sorry for my bullshit projection’ pamphlets. 

On the upside, Taylor didn’t have to go back to school, because animals weren’t allowed in the building. It made avoiding her bullies much easier. 

Speaking of bullies, Sophia was on a warpath, not ten feet away! Taylor yanked down her sunhat, but it was too late, Sophia had seen her. 

“Hebert! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! You think you can escape me by just skipping school? Well, you can’t!” The bully rolled up her sleeves, clearly getting ready to throw down. 

Then Sophia got the oddest expression on her face. It was the kind of look that one gets when one has just been bitten on the backside by a goose. 

Taylor looked down, and sure enough, her goose had bitten Sophia on the backside. 

You could practically see the steam coming out of Sophia’s ears. She growled low in her throat, and made a grab for the fowl. 

The goose immediately started fluffing its wings up and honking, making itself seem more like a threat. And then it began to chase the bully. 

Sophia had no idea what to do. She was always the one doing the chasing, not the one being chased! She dodged backwards to avoid the goose’s snapping beak. The goose continued to chase her. 

Every time that the goose would extend its neck to attempt to bite Sophia, the girl would jump backwards to dodge it. This worked several times, until Sophia was no longer aware of her surroundings. 

And at that point, the goose made to attack again, and Sophia dodged it. And consequently fell right into the Bay’s frigid waters. 

Meanwhile, Taylor was practically laughing herself sick. The fearsome Sophia Hess, taken out by a goose? Comedy gold! It was times like these that Taylor wished for a smart phone. A picture of this would be better than any other revenge she could have come up with. 

Then Taylor noticed a myriad of people who were not only taking photos, but also capturing the whole thing on video. 

She grinned. Maybe the goose wasn’t too bad after all...


	2. Get Hookwolf Wet

It was Taylor's first night out as the cape known as Nuisance. The PRT had approved her goose for hunting criminals. They had not, however, cleared it for school yet. Apparently the goose was 'ill-behaved', 'destructive', and 'a terrifying beast that would give an Endbringer a run for its money'. (That last one had been because the goose had broken supposedly unbreakable tinkertech equipment. But that's another story altogether.)

Taylor, on the other hand, was finding her goose rather adorable now. After it had chased of Sophia Hess, Taylor realized that her goose was only protecting her from enemies. Admittedly, its definition of the word 'enemy' could use a little work, but after a while, both goose and parahuman had reached enough of an understanding to work together. 

Skulking around at night is a bit difficult for a white and orange goose who had a tendency to honk at everything that moves, but the duo had somehow managed to sneak up on a transformed Hookwolf, who was threatening a couple of Taylor's dad's dock workers. 

After calling in the threat, Taylor was told to stall for time until Armsmaster could get there. It would only be a few minutes, but Taylor knew that unless she did something soon, the poor dock workers would be toast. 

Taylor breathed in deeply, and got ready to say something heroic. Then the goose turned to look at her, and shook its head. 

Alright, that was a bit disturbing. Just how intelligent was the bird, anyways? Perhaps Taylor's goose needed more testing, this time in the Thinker department. But first, Taylor waited for the right moment to attack Hookwolf. If the goose said to wait, then she would wait. 

A few moments later, and Hookwolf had his back to the ocean, and the goose had positioned itself on top of a roof. Don't ask Taylor how it got up there, 'cause she had no clue. 

Taylor felt that the time was right to make a move. She sprang out of the shadows, and started screaming at the giant metal monstrosity. 

"Hey, ugly! Leave those people alone!" She yelled. Hookwolf stared at Taylor through its metallic coverings. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea after all?

"What are you going to do about it, little nuisance?" He sneered. 

Taylor barely stifled a hysterical giggle. "That's my name, don't wear it out!"

And at that point, the goose launched itself at Hookwolf, flapping and honking like a tiny, feathery freight train. Hookwolf took a step back, slipped on a mysterious pile of bird doo, and fell right into the ocean! 

Then, there was the roaring sound of a motorbike, and Armsmaster leaped onto the scene. Hookwolf had started to sink due to his bulk, and was desperately trying to change back and get a grip on the dock at the same time. 

The goose saw Armsmaster and let out a smug-sounding honk. Armsmaster looked at the goose. Armsmaster looked at Hookwolf. Then back at the goose. 

"What just happened?" He asked, more to himself than to Taylor. But Taylor answered anyways. 

"My goose just spooked Hookwolf into stepping on some bird droppings, on which he slipped. Then Hookwolf fell into the ocean." Taylor replied happily. The goose was a way better partner than she originally thought. 

Armsmaster massaged his forehead, while the goose held out one wing to Taylor. She high-fived it.


	3. Break the Unbreakable Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These little one-shots are completely out of order, just so you know. This chapter takes place between chapter 1 and 2.

Taylor stood in front of the PRT building nervously. She had made an appointment to get her powers tested, and possibly get the goose under control. 

So Taylor had put on a feathery white masquerade mask, and had taken the bus all the way there. But now that Taylor was actually at the building, she was having second thoughts. 

The goose would surely embarrass her, and Taylor didn’t like the thought of the goose destroying PRT property. But she was desperate for a way to prevent the goose from attacking anyone else, so Taylor sighed, and walked into the building with the goose waddling behind her. 

The young man at the front desk asked Taylor if she had an appointment, and shortly after replying that she did, a PRT scientist walked in to take her and the goose to the testing lab. 

The tests consisted of two parts; one for Taylor’s Master testing, and the other for the goose’s Brute testing. 

The Master testing was not going well. Taylor had tried giving instructions to the goose, but it kept misinterpreting them! The scientist had Taylor instruct the goose to put a specific item inside a bin. The goose took a completely different item (the scientist’s glasses) and ran off. It was later discovered that the goose had put them inside a garbage bin, never to be seen again. 

Next, Taylor was told to try and make the goose attack a target. The goose at least followed instructions that time, it honked and bit at the correct target. The target showed no real damage, though. 

And finally, Taylor was asked to attempt to see and hear through the goose. This proved to be impossible. She did, however, learn that she could make the goose honk on command. 

And then it was time for the goose’s Brute testing. The scientist gestured to a machine behind him, and spoke. 

“This machine features an unbreakable metal plate, which will be slowly lowered onto the goose, until it starts to feel uncomfortable. At that point, we will stop the test and remove the plate.” 

The test began. The goose patiently waited under the plate, which slowly lowered on the goose. The machine got as far as the goose’s back, at which point it honked and pecked at the plate. 

The unbreakable plate broke. It shattered around the goose like it was made of glass. 

After the metal bits stopped raining down, Taylor could see that the goose was looking quite pleased with itself. 

“That... has never happened before.” The scientist muttered disbelievingly. Then he straightened himself out, and continued on. 

“I think we can safely give the goose a Brute rating of ‘gives an Endbringer a run for its money’. I have literally never seen that kind of power before, not even Alexandria could break that thing!” 

Taylor smiled at her goose. And then she asked the scientist, “When can we expect to go out in the field?” 

“Look, lady. That goose is nothing but a nuisance, it’s ill-behaved and destructive. And in order to get you and that bird out of my lab, I’ll give you the required approval for field work.” 

Taylor was about to cheer, when the scientist continued. “This doesn’t mean you should go about taking down, say, Hookwolf on your own. But you’re okay to go after muggers and petty thieves. Also, have you been bringing that goose to school?” 

Taylor shook her head. She most certainly had not! “Good,” the scientist stated. “That goose shouldn’t be allowed amongst children! In fact, I recommend that you also stay away from the Wards team. The last thing we need is an indestructible goose fighting with Shadow Stalker.” 

Then Taylor was given all sorts of papers to sign in order to become an independent cape that was still affiliated with the PRT, as well as the phone number to call in cape battles, should she see them. 

The scientist, being quite eager to get Taylor and her projection out of the lab, didn’t even say anything about parents or guardians having to sign anything! 

As Taylor walked out of the PRT office, head held high, she began trying to think of a good cape name. 

‘Nuisance, huh? I’ll show everyone what a little nuisance can really do!’


	4. Interlude: The Rules of the Goose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is how the goose's powers work. If any of you readers have any creative suggestions for new chapter ideas, how to use the goose's powers, or just want to tell me what you think, please give me a holler in the comments!

Things Taylor Knows: 

  * The goose may be given instructions in the form of a mental to-do list

  * The goose may carry out these instructions in whatever manner it chooses

  * The instructions can be taken as loosely as the goose wants

  * The goose cannot go more than about 750 meters from Taylor

  * The goose cannot be killed through any kind of normal means

  * The goose can only use its indestructible beak to attack, and no other part of its body. 

  * The beak can pierce through literally anything

  * The goose is frightening to everyone but Taylor when it is flapping its wings and honking

Things Taylor Doesn't Know Yet

  * The goose's purpose is to be as annoying as possible, to all but Taylor

  * The goose loves Taylor, and will do anything to defend her

  * If the goose doesn't manage a certain number of annoyances per day, it weakens a little bit

  * The more annoying the goose is, the more powerful it is

  * The goose does not work by the laws of physics, and can do anything, provided it annoys others by doing it

  * If the goose cannot annoy someone, then said person is safe from the goose

  * If the goose and Taylor are in perfect harmony, the goose may initiate a process called 'Synchronization'

  * Synchronization means that Taylor and the goose can directly communicate with each other

  * During Synchronization, Taylor can directly instruct the goose, and the goose can tell Taylor what it sees and hears

  * The Synchronization can last up to 30 minutes before losing power

  * Synchronization can only be used once every two weeks, so it must be used sparingly. 


	5. Coil in the Soil

Taylor was vaguely amused by her goose today. It had been leading her all over town, in what was seemingly a wild... well, actually, that expression fit a little too well. 

But Taylor was indeed chasing after her goose. It was now running through traffic, causing car accidents here and there. One thing that Taylor had learned about the goose was that no one ever got hurt from its annoyances. They got pissed off, or lost their dignity, but somehow the goose never really harmed anyone, even by accident. Unfortunately, it could inconvenience like the dickens! 

So, as Taylor ran by a nearby car that had crashed into a fire hydrant, she called out an apology to the cursing driver. He looked like he would be late for work! 

Meanwhile, at the Undersiders’ hideout: 

Tattletale was absentmindedly looking out the window. Her power was telling her some pretty strange things. Traffic was slow today. There was a goose on the loose. Said goose was going after Coil. 

Tattletale grinned at that last part. 

“Hey guys! Who wants to go arrest our boss and take all his money?” She shouted to the rest of the crew. 

Eventually the Undersiders decided to do exactly that. 

There was a door here. This was a weird place for a door, in a secret subsection of a parking lot garage. But Taylor trusted the goose. It knew all. 

So, she opened the door, and peeked into the front hallway of Coil’s hideout. Normally, there would be someone there to guard the door, but he was late today due to an unfortunate traffic incedent involving a goose and a fire hydrant. 

But since Taylor didn’t know this, she just thought that the place was abandoned. The goose bustled past her, and they both continued on their merry way. 

Coil had not split any timelines right now. He was just doing some paperwork, after all. It was a quiet day at his hideout, and nothing was set to happen until this afternoon. 

The goose had apparently found what it was looking for. A slightly chipped wall was opposite Taylor, and the goose was pecking at it, making huge indents with its beak. 

Then, when the wall was set to collapse, the goose started booking it out of the hideout. Taylor once again ran after it. 

Back at the parking garage, Tattletale was waiting for Coil’s saboteur to exit the building, so that she could finish off the villainous bastard. As soon as a goose ran out, followed by a girl in a feathery white mask, Tattletale gave the signal to the Undersiders. There was now a weak spot somewhere in the base, and according to her power, all she had to do was flush a particular toilet in the building above. She had signalled the others to do so about five minutes ago. 

As the water flowed through the pipes, it came to a leaky crack in one of the walls. The wall, already having huge dents in it, was further weakened by the dampening pipe. The structure collapsed, and began to take the whole place with it. 

Taylor watched her goose as it stared at the girl in the skintight purple outfit. It seemed to be waiting for something to happen. With a groan, then a crash, part of the parking garage caved in. 

The other girl gave Taylor a thumbs up, and walked through the hole in the wall, whistling. 

‘Well,’ thought Taylor, ‘that was odd.’

And then the goose went back to running about and honking, whatever mission it had been on now completed. 

Taylor loved her goose, she really did, but it would be nice to have an explanation at some point. 

Later that evening, as Taylor and her dad sat on the couch together, watching TV, the news played an interesting story. 

“This morning, after what many thought to be a small, localized earthquake, the PRT showed up at the site of the collapsed building. It was revealed that the entire underground structure had been the base of the villain Coil. The man himself had been buried under a solid meter of soil, with his head sticking out, from above where the roof had broken. The PRT now have Coil in custody. It was suspected that this was somehow the work of the notorious Undersiders, who were seen near the site of the collapse just moments before!” 

Huh. So the goose had helped capture Coil? Interesting... 

Coil was so fed up. No matter how many timelines he made, he was still captured. It had been impossible to escape the soil, and the PRT wouldn’t let him out of the damn cell he was in no matter what he tried! He wheedled and cajoled, but no amount of plea deals or given information got him out. It looked like he was going to be stuck here for a very long while.


End file.
